| happy. sad. inbetween. i'm almost sure that i'm happy. i'm almost positive its because of him. but sometimes...sometimes i feel as though happiness shouldn't come from someone else. nor do i want it to. but this feeling. its right. does that make sense? i love knowing we fight. i love knowing that he makes me smile. and...well. i love being with him. good friends though. very good. i wish these things came true. but maybe not tonight.
maybe tomorrow. |
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| sometimes i feel like theres a void in my life. i can't understand how i feel.
and at times, i feel...
empty. i want so much.
happinesslovesuccess. i miss a lot of things.
the stress of not knowing
builds inside of me.
i know it hardly makes sense.
but it almost does to me. i can't sleep because...
i don't understand
its hard to comprehend.
but i can't bring myself to be happy. i never know. does that make sense? "i want to be as free as the wind" |
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| wondering.
read me. you use to be able to.
of everyone in this damned world.
you were the one person who could
read me, and it seems you've lost the key.
you don't see me hurt. and sad.
i'm not as important to you
but i guess it doesn't matter.
so i'll say it again.
alone. i needed you.
&& you didn't see me cry.
because you're too phased.
&& i don't know why i care.
maybe its because you're more important than you think.
its never been about the boys or the family.
its always been about us. |
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| sometimes i wonder if it's worth it.
it is right? more alone than i thought. |
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| i've fallen for something that doesn't exsist.
needless to say, i'm amazed.
7 days. and i'll be 18
12 school days left.
&& then? everyone says it, theres a few things i regret.
but i won't regret this experience.
i love people for who they are.
and what they will always mean to me. i know i won't stay friends with the people
i spend every lunch with.
i know i won't stay friends with the classmates
i laugh in class with every day.
i know i won't see the friends i look
forward to seeing during break. but it doesn't mean i won't enjoy the memories. i've walked the same path to classes since freshmen year. with my head up, and expecting to see people with my eyes looking into theirs. there was no point in me looking at the ground and hoping to get to class without being trampled by some big kid. we only had four years, so why waste the seconds? i'm going to miss a lot of things.
but most of all, i'll miss this feeling. |
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